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Submitted by: Marie-Claire Smith
Relationships are complicated. Anybody who tells you theirs is any different is either fooling themselves or lying. This is all the more true when the relationship in question is a marriage.
Couples who have been married for one or more years will definitely run into their share of problems and disagreements. In fact, arguing is a normal and healthy part of human communication between husband and wife.
When couples are not even able to argue in order to work out their differences, that is when things have reached an unhealthy state. And, when even the idea of arguing makes one person in the relationship so uncomfortable that they threaten to leave the relationship, the situation is extremely unstable and needs to be addressed.
If you find yourself saying, “My husband threatens to leave when we argue,” here are 5 tips for what to do:
1. Acknowledge to yourself that there is a serious problem in your relationship:
If your husband threatens to leave you when you argue, it is a sign that something is seriously wrong with your relationship. There could be a whole range of possible reasons why he may be acting this way. Some of the possible reasons are:
a. he was raised in a family where arguing openly was not allowed, so he feels extremely uncomfortable when there is a perceived lack of harmony in your household
b. he is afraid of what he may say or do if he gets angry
c. he has something to hide and fears that an argument may cause him to admit it
d. he is looking for a reason to leave you, but lacks the courage to do so without an “excuse”
2. Decide what would need to happen for you to want to stay with your husband:
Obviously, the current situation is not a healthy one for either of you. But before you figure out whether you can learn to communicate with your husband effectively, it is very important that you come to terms with your real feelings about the relationship. If you are not willing to put up with his behavior the way it is now, what would need to change for you to want to stay in your marriage – if anything?
3. Find out if he is having an affair or likes someone else:
One possibility is that your husband has something hide from you (see “c” above), such as an affair. Do what you can to verify whether he may be cheating on you.
4. Start a dialogue with him at a moment when you are not arguing:
Regardless of your answers to the above questions, it is important that you find a way to start a healthy dialogue with your husband. Find a moment when you are not arguing and things are going well. Bring up in a calm voice whatever your issues may be. Avoid any language that sounds like you are blaming or accusing him of anything.
5. Focus on your feelings, but avoid saying what he should do or nagging him:
Put your focus on expressing your feelings to him. This should not be about telling him what he should say or do – doing so will only put him on the defensive. Start sentences with “I feel . . . “.
If you believe there may be hope for getting past this very difficult point in your marriage, seek out resources that can help you repair the love and save your marriage.
About the Author: Get your troubled marriage back on track with expert relationship advice from someone who has saved thousands of marriages at:
Help Us Communicate Again
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A compilation of brief news reports for Monday, August 15, 2016.
Monday, August 28, 2006
The early-morning Flight 5191 was operating as Delta Connection and was headed from Lexington’s Blue Grass Airport to Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. It crashed about a mile west of the airport at 6:07 a.m. Eastern Time. The plane was a Canadair Regional Jet CRJ-100.
Polehinke was taken to the University of Kentucky‘s Chandler Medical Center, where he was listed in critical condition. According to the National Transportation Safety Board, the aircraft departed from a shorter runway than it was cleared to take off from.
According to Gary Ginn, the Fayette County coroner, there was a significant fire on board the aircraft after impact, after which it continued to move forward several hundred yards before coming to a stop. The aircraft, however, is largely intact, Ginn said, and most of the passengers remained inside the cabin. Ginn said he expects the cause of death to be fire for the majority of the victims. The tail number has been confirmed as N431CA.
Based on information recovered from the flight’s data recorder and physical evidence on the scene, the National Transportation Safety Board is focusing on the theory that the pilot attempted to take off from a 3,500-foot or 1067-meter runway that is not certified for airline traffic. That runway is only for general aviation aircraft.
Investigators believe the plane did not get enough speed to lift off the ground before running out of runway. Air traffic controllers in the tower had cleared the flight for takeoff from an adjacent 7,000-foot or 2135-meter runway used for commercial airlines.
Local police and fire fighters responded to the scene within minutes, and it has been reported that two off-duty police officers helped pull Polehinke from the cockpit of the burning jet.
Laura Brown, a spokeswoman for the Federal Aviation Administration told CNN that there is no indication that terrorism was involved in connection with the crash.
Family members and friends who suspected that their loved ones may have been on Flight 5191 began arriving at Blue Grass Airport shortly after the crash. They have been taken to a local hotel, where staff from Comair as well as airport officials are caring for them and providing them with information. Comair has also set up a hotline where family and friends can receive information: the number is 1-800-801-0088.
Among the dead were Jon Hooker and Scarlett Parsley, who had married just the night before and were off to their honeymoon.
A moment of silence was held for the crash victims before the Los Angeles Dodgers-Arizona Diamondbacks baseball game in Phoenix, where Brandon Webb, a former University of Kentucky baseball teammate of Hooker, is a pitcher. Another passenger, Charles Lykins of Naples, Fla., wanted an early flight so he could get home to his two young children after visiting friends and family in the Lexington area, said Paul Richardson of Winchester. Mike Finley, 52, who lived in Corbin and owned the Finley Fun Centers, was headed to Reno, Nev., for a rollerskating convention, said his son, David Taylor. “I’d say there’s thousands of kids who grew up with our father,” he said.
Rick Queen, who works for Turfway Realty in Lexington, said his father-in-law, Les Morris, was on the flight. Queen and Taylor were both frustrated with how Comair handled the families. “I just felt Delta ran families around this morning for three hours. I finally got some help from a Lexington firefighter,” Taylor said.
Flight attendant Kelly Heyer was single and lived in the Cincinnati area. He had been working for the airline since 2004 and was recently appointed base representative for the flight attendant union said Tracy Riley, a union secretary and fellow Comair flight attendant. “He was a standup individual,” Riley said. “He was very professional, loved the job.”
Bornhorst described his own reaction as “complete devastation” and he lamented the frustration of the families as they awaited word. “When tragedies like this happen, information can just not be relayed fast enough and I certainly understand the frustrations related to that,” Bornhorst said.
By Debbie Pettitt
You’ve heard the “buzz” about identity theft, but what exactly is identity theft? According to Wikipedia, identity theft (or identity fraud) is the deliberate assumption of another person’s identity, usually to gain access to their finances or frame them for a crime.
“Dumpster diving” (someone going through your trash), “shoulder surfing” (someone watching from a nearby location as you punch in your credit card number or ATM PIN # or eavesdropping as you give your personal information over the phone) and “phishing” (someone sending an email that appears to be from a legitimate business) are only a few ways of obtaining your personal information.
Once they have obtained your personal information, identity thieves often change the address on your bills, keeping you unaware that your identity has been stolen unless you are aware of when your bills normally arrive in the mail, keep track of what you charge and check your credit reports annually.
Here are several red flags that indicate you may be a victim of identity theft:
1. You check your credit reports annually and find there are new charge cards showing with companies you don’t know.
2. You receive a bill for a credit card account you didn’t open.
3. You notice charges on your credit card statement you did not authorize.
4. You haven’t received your bills or credit card statements when they normally arrive.
5. Your bank statements show unauthorized transfers or withdrawals.
6. You receive a call from a collection agency about an account you never opened.
7. You receive calls from businesses about merchandise you didn’t buy.
8. You’re denied credit because debts show up on your credit reports that don’t belong to you.
If you notice any of these red flags, don’t panic – there may be a logical explanation.
About the Author: Debbie Pettitt is the webmaster of two web sites designed to provide you the latest news and information on identity theft and credit scores. For further information on identity theft, visit
. For information on how to check and/or correct your credit score, go to
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Ian Narev, the CEO of the Commonwealth Bank of Australia, this morning “unreservedly” apologised to clients who lost money in a scandal involving the bank’s financial planning services arm.
Last week, a Senate enquiry found financial advisers from the Commonwealth Bank had made high-risk investments of clients’ money without the clients’ permission, resulting in hundreds of millions of dollars lost. The Senate enquiry called for a Royal Commission into the bank, and the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC).
Mr Narev stated the bank’s performance in providing financial advice was “unacceptable”, and the bank was launching a scheme to compensate clients who lost money due to the planners’ actions.
In a statement Mr Narev said, “Poor advice provided by some of our advisers between 2003 and 2012 caused financial loss and distress and I am truly sorry for that. […] There have been changes in management, structure and culture. We have also invested in new systems, implemented new processes, enhanced adviser supervision and improved training.”
An investigation by Fairfax Media instigated the Senate inquiry into the Commonwealth Bank’s financial planning division and ASIC.
Whistleblower Jeff Morris, who reported the misconduct of the bank to ASIC six years ago, said in an article for The Sydney Morning Herald that neither the bank nor ASIC should be in control of the compensation program.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
A former accountant for Oral Roberts University (ORU) has filed a lawsuit against ORU and its Board of Regents claiming he was told by Richard Roberts and his wife Lindsay to “cook the books”, hiding financial wrongdoing from authorities and the public. Trent Huddleston, the accountant, has filed suit against the school and the Robertses claiming he “was improperly and unlawfully directed to perform functions and duties in violation of state and federal law in an effort by the defendants to ‘cook the books’ and hide from the appropriate authorities and the public the continued wrongdoing, improper and illegal conduct of the defendants, and in particular, of Richard and Lindsay Roberts.”
Huddleston said that nearly $123,000 in remodeling fees for their home was paid by Oral Roberts University and Oral Roberts Ministries. In addition the lawsuit alleges $4,000 was spent on a pool table for the Robertses. Previously the Roberts were accused of illegal political and financial wrongdoing, which forced the president to step down from his positison.
Last week at a meeting called by Oral Roberts, founder of the University and former faith healer, a majority of the faculty voted against allowing Richard to serve as president.
An ORU spokesman declined to comment on latest lawsuit and the faculty meeting.
In other news, Tulsa World released emails between Richard and his political adviser and sister-in-law, Stephanie Cantees. The emails given by an anonymous source, show the two plan to gain political influence using ORU students.
Due to the damage by Hurricane Katrina and subsequent flooding, a number of colleges and universities in the New Orleans metropolitan area will not be able to hold classes for the fall 2005 semester. It is estimated that 75,000 to 100,000 students have been displaced. . In response, institutions across the United States and Canada are offering late registration for displaced students so that their academic progress is not unduly delayed. Some are offering free or reduced admission to displaced students. At some universities, especially state universities, this offer is limited to residents of the area.